The Anatomy of a Soup Swap

If you've been thinking to yo' self, "Self, I do not have enough soup in my life," well then perhaps, just perhaps, you should throw a Soup Swap.

wha??

Don't worry, I shall take this opportunity school you.

So without further ado or fanfare, I give to you:

Khop's Guide to Soup Swapping, 1st edition

(see legal disclaimers below*)

What is a soup swap?

Simply put, a soup swap is a party by which each person brings an agreed amount of soup for tasting and trading. Ever been to a Christmas cookie exchange? I personally have not; however, it is important to note that if you do decide to have a soup swap, you should throw out that example when explaining to others the concept of the swap. This will put them at ease, because apparently everyone on the planet (except for me) has been to a Christmas cookie exchange. In fact, I only learned about Christmas cookie exchanges when telling people about the soup swap.

Just how much soup we talkin', Khop?

There are no set rules, just the ones you set. I went aggressive and made the entry criteria 7 quarts of homemade soup, which is, excuse my language mom, a shit-ton of soup. The average soup recipe makes about 2 quarts, which meant that most of my friends who agreed to participate were probably cussin' me at some point in the past few weeks as they realized they had to make yet another batch to yield enough soup. There were a couple folks who rolled into the swap looking a little shell shocked, but I'm not gonna name any names.

So how does this work?

1. Pick a date far into the future, because unless you roll with a crowd that can cook massive amounts of soup on a dime or you've thrown one of these before, you're gonna need time to recruit people to drink the soup-flavored KoolAid on this one. I think my initial invite went out about two months in advance. I've pasted a copy of my facebook invitation to give you an idea of the details:

Here's how the swap works:

1. Choose your favorite FREEZABLE soup recipe (cream-based soups do not freeze well). Chili is acceptable.

2. Make enough soup to COMPLETELY fill seven 1 quart containers. (Note, this will likely require you to make 2 - 4 batches.)

3. Divide soup into seven NEW 1 qt gladware-type containers. (ie, disposable, b/c you will not get them back, but you will get 6 replacements and you will get to take the tasting quart back home.)

4. Label each quart with the type of soup and whether or not it is vegetarian.

5. Make a bunch of copies of yo recipe.

6. Grab a bottle of wine and/or a tasty appetizer to share and show up at my digs!

7. Upon arrival, you will get to pick six numbers, one for each round (the 7th quart is for tastings). Your number for each round corresponds to your draft order.

8. Taste as many soups as you like! Starting promptly at 5pm, we will hold a 6 round soup draft.

9. Collect as many recipe copies as you like.

Please note:

- Store/restaurant-bought soup ain't got no place at this swap. Cheaters will be heckled and thrown out of the draft. (But then potentially get picked up by the Philadelphia Eagles, sigh...)

- If you can't cook or don't dig on soup, feel free to come by to witness the soup drafting frenzy.

- Out of towners, feel free to plan to stay the night at chez khop.

- RSVP is a must!! Also, closer to the date, please be sure to post what type of soup you are bringing (and if it is vegetarian). It helps avoid too many duplications.

- If you are unable to attend, but are desperate to participate, you may draft by proxy, either by sending a representative or by dropping off soup ahead of time and trusting (yikes) me to draft for you. Note, the goods must be delivered in order to draft. No soup, no draft.

2. Talk incessantly about the soup swap to anyone who will give you the time of day. Throw the term "Soup Draft" around a lot, as it gives your event "street cred", you know, because drafts remind people of football and thus are cool. Demand explanations from people who claim they cannot come, and attempt to heckle them into changing their plans. Brother's wedding? Oh for crying out loud. Wouldn't you rather be swapping soup? Don't hide your disappointment and disapproval if your attempts prove unsuccessful. It is ok if someone comes if only to shut you up about the whole thing.

3. Pick an afternoon and bang out your 7 quarts.

If applicable, curse the fact that you don't have a significant other who will do the resulting dishes.

4. As the date approaches, bug people to post what kind of soup they are bringing, so as to avoid too many duplications. There were THREE people talking independently about bringing Thai Pumpkin Soup, but thankfully only one did. On second thought, it would've been nice to have a duplicate on that one, as I wasn't able to snag one myself.....

5. Note with glee how many people begin referring to the upcoming swap in their FB status messages, regardless of the tone of or number of curse words contained within the actual message.

6. On the appointed day, free up all available counter space, slap a sign on your door and wait for shit to go down.

7. Swappers will begin to arrive to stake a claim on counter space and begin warming tasting quarts.

TWO MAJOR LESSONS LEARNED:

1. Have beverages and all other foodstuffs out of the kitchen. Unless your kitchen is bigger than mine, which is entirely possible, if not probable, all available space should go to soup display.

2. Kindly request that anyone who is able should heat their tasting quart prior to arrival, and insist that tasting quarts do not arrive frozen.

As the people and the soup flowed in, near pandemonium broke out as sixteen swappers tried to stake out a counter spot, defrost/ warm the tasting quart, set up a display of any necessary toppings, grab an app, and pour a drink in my 13' X 15' kitchen.

The words I think you're looking for are "fire" and "hazard".

8. People will begin to mill about to taste, as Squeaks would say, all the soupy goodness. As we are living in the age of the great swine flu, provide lots of dixie cups 'n ladles 'n stuff to facilitate hygienic tasting.

9. Once substantial tasting opportunity is had, hold a drawing for draft order. You can do this any way you like, but I chose to have people pick a number for each of the six rounds. For example, my picks ended up being:

Round 1: Pick 2

Round 2: Pick 2

Round 3: Pick 13

Round 4: Pick 4

Round 5: Pick 14

Round 6: Pick 9

10: Draft Away!

The following were the choices at this event:

Deb's Spinach Chicken Tortellini

Cassie's Fiesta Soup

Dov's Creamy Potato Soup

Ilana's Potato Zucchini Soup

Michelle's Peruvian Chicken Soup

Traci's Thai Pumpkin Soup

Megan's Lasagna Soup

Josh and Carisa's Middle Eastern Lamb Stew

Squeaks' Vegetarian Lentil Soup

Lindy's Sante Fe Soup/Turkey Chili

Fran's Tomato Corn Chowder

Jenna's Matzo Ball Soup

Kate's Caramelized Onion Soup

Melinda's White Chicken Chili

Khop's Butternut Squash Soup

Becky/Jackie's Thai Chicken Noodle

Mad props to all y'all's soup making skillz!!!

11. Afterwards, some heartfelt karaoke is undoubtedly called for.

Thanks, all swappers and guests!

Sushi Dan, take note: THIS is the kind of swappin' I'm into....

khop

*If by reading this, you are now inspired to hold a swap, you are legally obligated to invite me. Just sayin....